Before any of you start to worry I was not there for me, I had to take my Nana in today to have a heart cath done. But while sitting there all day I came to realize two things...
1) Seeing all thos folks in there for all sorts of problems and most in a worse state both physically and mentally than I am made me appreciate the fact that while I am living with this disease but it could be a lot worse. I am lucky to be doing so good and really am thankful for that, especially after seeing so many who are suffering so bad. It helped to show me again that this is a disease that yes I have but I can still live a long healthy life.
2) I also noticed today that my fear of germs has gotten a lot worse after my diagnosis. I know I am over reacting but a part of me cant help it. I did not want to touch anything, I washed my hands or used hand sanatizer every time I passed one, I also tried to stay clear of as many people as I could especially the staff. I always have the fear in the back of my mind that I can not chance getting sick because I do not know what kind of havoc it will cause on my body.
These are the two things I noticed today. I have to go back tomorrow because my Nana is having some more test done. I am seriously looking into seeing if the hospital has an infectious disease wing and just seeing if I can walk through it. I know it sounds bad but I think it could really do me good. Who knows, I might find someone who is interesting to talk to in the halls, someone who might just have something to teach me or me teach them.
Well tonights blog is shot because I am beyond tired. So rest easy my friends and I will let y'all know how tomorrow goes.
This is my story of how I found out I was HIV-Positive while still in the United States Marine Corps and my coming to terms with my diagnosis.
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