A Personal Experience of HIV Stigmas

I want to share this story to show that people with HIV experience all kinds of stigmas and fears aginst them, and sometimes the ones doing it are the ones who you expect to be yoursupport group.  Fear can over come even those the closest to us because they are ignorant about what HIV really is.

So about a year after my diagnosis I came home for the first time.  At this point my family already knew about my status and were trying to be as supportive as they could from accross the country.  Well at first I did not notice it but it soon became clear that my own family was afraid to be around me.  I started noticing little things like my mother would hand wash all the dishes I used because she did not trust the dishwasher to get them clean.  I then noticed that I had not seen my sister use our shared bathroom even once since I got home.  She was using our parents bathroom for everything.  I said something to my mom about it and mom told me she was uncomfortible using the same bathroom that I used.  You want to talk about crushed.  I was unwelcomed in my own home.

After noticing all this I no longer wished to remain in a home where my own family was afraid of me.  I tried the next day to get an earlier flight back to San Diego but my mom said I was only causing a scene and would only make matters worse, but really why would I want to stay where I am not wanted.  I did stay for the rest of my trip but I was heartbroken the whole time and could not wait to get away.

When I returned I went to the clinic and picked up as much info and pamplets about HIV and how you can and can not catch it.  I put it all in a package with a letter that just said "please read if you want me to come back", and mailed it to my family.

Things have gotten better since then but this is just one of the many things that is always in the back of my mind.

I share this so others see how important HIV education is so we can stop these stigmas and fears.  It is never a good feeling to be feared by your own family.